Geologists from Stanford University recently made an astounding discovery. Drilling core samples in Palo Alto, a thousand feet below Sand Hill Road, they discovered the fossils of an ancient civilization. Their excitement grew as excavation revealed a Neanderthal community with complex tools, written language, and a primitive subscription economy.
A paleo-forensic team pieced together the daily life of one adult Neanderthal that lived there 40,000 years ago. They’ve published his narrative below, and titled their work the Tales of Groc, the Customer Success Caveman. Read Chapter 7 here.
Chapter 8: Professional Etiquette
Groc was passionate about developing the next generation of Customer Success Managers. When he learned that StoneHenjj was considering a rotational program for new grads, he got involved and made sure that Customer Success was part of the circuit.
The Program took recruits from the University of Boulder on a two-year orbit through the Sales, Support, Onboarding and Customer Success departments. Groc loved the enthusiasm of these young cavemen and cavewomen. Sometimes, though, their professional etiquette during customer interactions left something to be desired.
Last fall, Groc was shadowed by a new grad named Bam. These were some of the lessons that Groc imparted into the youngster in the two moons they spent together:
- Bam was following Groc to an onsite EBR at Dongleberry, a strategic partner that produced power adapters between livestock and Carts. Their primary product was the Harness.
Groc and Bam had agreed to meet outside the company’s headquarters at sunrise to do a final run of the presentation. Groc arrived 5 minutes early, but Bam arrived 45 minutes late drinking a cup of fermented pond scum. When asked why he was late, Bam said “I love this stuff. I can’t start my day without it. But it took me a long time to find a ClunkinCobbles around here that sells it.”
Groc was frustrated and made his point very clear: “Something like this should never jeopardize a customer engagement. I suggest better planning of your morning routine ahead of important meetings.”
- Some execs from Mammoth Mart were coming to the StoneHenjj offices to discuss a big expansion Opportunity with Groc and members of the Product team. StoneHenjj had a pretty relaxed dress code, but Groc asked Bam to look sharp for that day to make a good impression. Bam wouldn’t be presenting to Mammoth Mart, but he’d be present for some of the conversations.
But on the morning of the meeting, Bam arrived with his usual Rolling Stones loincloth, wild bedhead, and a woefully unpolished club. “Appearance and presentation can really move the beetle in these settings,” emphasized Groc. He asked Bam to go home and change before the Mammoth Mart exec team arrived.
- Groc and Bam went to a late-afternoon onsite in the southern Valley, an hour away. It was sundown by the time they returned. Bam was eager to get home to see the new episode of his favorite show, Game of Bones. Groc, too, wanted to leave to catch the Perseid meteor shower. He’d heard that Ursa Major and Cassiopeia would be throwing some major fireballs and didn’t want to miss a second of the action.
But Groc knew there was a potential upsell opportunity at the customer and that a quick follow-up would help clinch the deal. “It’s important we follow up on meetings same day,” insisted Groc. They stayed an extra 20 minutes to compose a note and sent it by Eagle. They got the upsell.
Bam had taken great strides by the end of their time together, and Groc felt confident that he would make a great CSM. Especially now that a ClunkinCobbles had just opened across the street.
