Geologists from Stanford University recently made an astounding discovery. Drilling core samples in Palo Alto, a thousand feet below Sand Hill Road, they discovered the fossils of an ancient civilization. Their excitement grew as excavation revealed a Neanderthal community with complex tools, written language, and a primitive subscription economy.
A paleo-forensic team pieced together the daily life of one adult Neanderthal that lived there 40,000 years ago. They’ve published his narrative below, and titled their work the Tales of Groc, the Customer Success Caveman. Read Chapter 6 here.
Chapter 7: Customer Gifts
It was the tail end of a long week. Groc was tired and ready to go home to his cave. As he was packing up his clubs and cobbles, his manager Ook approached him holding a birch bark message.
“Groc, this notice from the COO at Ryft mentions they never received the rock candy and StoneHenjj-branded loincloths we sent them for their launch. They were really looking forward to sharing those with their team!” Ryft was a leader in mule ride-sharing. They’d subscribed for 200 Carts and represented a huge strategic possibility, so Ook wanted to do everything he could to delight them.
Groc was confused. “We paid 10 rabbits for those gifts,” he replied. “I know because I had to pay for it myself and then expense it! I was certain they had been delivered… I even checked our GoCart Express team’s delivery logs.” Groc stood up and walked to the pile of delivery logs in the corner of the cave, to confirm he wasn’t remembering wrong. He read the etchings on the most recent cedar log “ROCK CANDY & LOINCLOTHS @ RYFT: LEFT WITH DOORMAN AT CAVE ENTRANCE.”
“Hmm… to what address did you send it?” asked Ook.
“Second Boulder under the Elm in the Comet District,” Groc read off the log.
“Don’t you remember? They’ve moved! Right after they raised Series C they relocated to the Shady Crevasse.”
Groc felt a flash of frustration towards himself. He’d done his very best, but had made a mistake and felt like a bone-head. Ordering and delivering a gift to a customer was one of those tasks that ought to be easy, but never was. Every time he wanted to send a gift, he needed to research the address, figure out the right vendor, find out how to pay, make sure the order was confirmed and then follow up that it had been delivered. The Ops team was always tweaking the process and he never knew if he was following it correctly. He recognized the importance of sending gifts, but wasn’t sure all the effort was worth his time.
Even the gifts that were successfully delivered sometimes backfired. Mammoth Mart almost churned when Groc sent them a large amount of snake jerky amidst a company reorg. Groc hadn’t realized the jerky vendor was actually their biggest competitor. And RainySeezun was very unhappy when Groc sent them a bushel of toasted acorns. Apparently the CEO was terribly allergic to acorns.
Groc kept his chin up and reordered new gifts for Ryft. He also sent them an apology note by eagle. He reminded himself that sometimes, being a CSM meant getting the little things right.
